Brandon Vaughn.

I live in Los Angeles and can suck my own butt. Here lies my dumbz.
~ Wednesday, April 16 ~

How we doing out there, internet?

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~ Sunday, February 23 ~
Lorde be killing it on tonight’s episode of True Detective.

Lorde be killing it on tonight’s episode of True Detective.

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~ Wednesday, February 5 ~

I was a guest on Bryan Cook’s amazing Competitive Erotic Fan Fiction last week getting real gross. Enjoy some nerd filth.

An alarm clock changes from 10:47 to 10:48. The clock radio blares Huey Lewis’ “Back In Time” shocking Marty McFly from his sleep. Suddenly he hears an incredible sound in his front lawn.

"Doc?" Marty wonders at he opens the front door.

The sound grows louder. An otherworldly mechanical wheezing and groaning. A sound known throughout all of time and space. The unmistakable sound of (pause) the TARDIS.

Marty marvels and the blue police box appearing before him. The TARDIS opens its doors and the Doctor appears.

"Mr. McFly, you’ve caused quite a bit a trouble young man." "Who are you?" Marty replies.

"You may call me the Doctor. I’m a Time Lord from the planet Gallifrey. I travel through time and space and I have come to you because you and that DeLorean of yours have made quite a mess of it."

"A mess of what?" Marty asks.

"A mess of time itself. You’ve made so many changes. Redirecting your parent’s. Saving Doc Brown’s life, having your time machine stolen and allowing Biff to create alternate reality. Not to mention all the super boring shit that you did in the Old West."

"Are you telling me that I damaged the space time continuum like Doc Brown warned me about? Heavy."

"Exactly. You’ve paradox’s have torn a hole in time and if we don’t fix the hole you’ve torn in time there won’t be anything left."
The Doctor points to the TARDIS’s computer showing a diagram of the hole in time.

"Oh, man. This is all my fault. What do we have to do to fix it?"

"There are holes in time, Marty. And those holes need to be filled. And they need to be filled with cum. Time Cum. One time traveler has to cum inside another time traveler. It’s the only way. So take your fucking pants off"

"I’m not going to have sex with you. I don’t bang dudes."

"The hell you don’t. No heterosexual male teen would be caught dead hanging out in a 60 year old man’s garage. You took a time machine thirty years in to the past and the very first thing you do is go to a diner to order a Tab and a Pepsi Free? Also, the only way that orange vest could look gayer is if it were woven from cum crusted chest hair. Now peel

down those Guess jeans and then I’ll give you one guess where my cock is about to go, you tiny cum piglet.
Marty is still not convinced.

"What’s a matter, McFly? You chicken?" Marty’s blood boils.
“Nobody. Calls me. Chicken!”

Marty flies into a rage tackling The Doctor inside the TARDIS and pulling out his cock. The Doctor rips off Marty’s clothing. He wraps Marty’s trademark Maroon t-shirt around his head and begins to piss on Marty’s bound face. Waterboarding him with the piss of a Time Lord. Marty thrashes violently tearing the shirt away gasping for air.

He opens his mouth wide for the deepest breath he as every taken when he is met with the Doctor’s asshole. Marty works his tongue around the Doctor’s puckered soft serve maker. He licks The Doctor’s dirty brown shit safe clean with the aggressive force of a deck hand scrubbing to removing barnacles from a ship. The Doctor eyes go wide feeling the Hill Valley teen’s tongue devouring his ass and pulls out Marty’s stiffening boy penis. The Doctor begins licking Marty’s shaft and sucking the tip like the a some fat piece of shit tries to suck every last bit of Cheetos dust of their fat sausage fingers. The Doctor can feel Marty’s excitement just as he can taste the salty pre cum milking out of his cum teat.

The Doctor savors the flavors of Marty’s piss maker. It smelled like sour dough bread and tasted like imitation crabmeat. He rubs his hands all over Marty’s smooth body. Every inch of him firm and hairless, like an Asian man’s forearms. He grabs Marty. Stands him up and turns the twink around and to shove his thick throbbing cum caulker inside Marty’s pink gunk locker. The Doctor shoves his fingers down Marty’s throat until he gags. McFly’s spit drip down the Doctors fingers and the Time Lord shoves three of them deep in Marty’s ass violent priming and stretching his little baby boy gaper.

The cock of the Doctor slides balls deep into his ass as he exclaims
“In 900 years of time and space, I’ve never felt a cock milker this juicy.”

Marty bursts in to tears. He’s been to the future and been to the past but he’s never been in a moment more exciting than this. The feeling overwhelms him. He begins to shake uncontrollably all over.

It’s almost as if he had Parkinson’s disease.
The Doctor holds Marty by the throat to control the thrashing.
“Fuck yes! Keep shaking like that. It’s like you’re sucking my cock with your asshole.”

Marty stares at his shaking hands and notices his hand fading away out of time itself. Marty turns around to face the man defiling pumping the cheese in his chili hole.

"What’s happening?"

"Oh no" the Doctor exclaims. "We’re running out of time. I’m going to need some back up!"

Just then TARDIS doors opens to reveal Doctor Emmett L. “Doc” Brown. “Good to see you, Marty!”
“Doc!” Marty exclaimed. Hoping Doc was coming to his rescue.

"No time for pleasantries, Marty. The Doctor has brought me up to speed on how dire the situation. We are running out of time to generate enough Time Cum to plug the time hole."

"Well how much is it going to take?" Marty asks
“We have to create exactly 1.21 JIZZ-o-watts of Time Cum!”

"We don’t have enough time," the Doctor exclaimed. "That would require at least three time cocks inside this boys cum bunker and besides the boy there are only two time travelers with cocks here."

"Well, that’s were we are in luck. Turns out having my time machine powered by all that plutonium and Mr. Fusion radiation had some unexpected side effect. My travels through time have left me with something of a (pause) mutation.

Doc Brown unbuckles his pants to reveal not one but TWO massive hulking dongers. “Great Scott” Marty mutters in terror.

"So, Marty, while I may be your friend in time (pause) I’m the Biff Tannen of your ass hole."

"Doc! There’s no way I can take even one of those mangled misshapen man hams."

"You’re in luck," the Doctor interrupts. "Just like the TARDIS, my asshole is made from Time Lord technology (pause) it’s bigger on the inside. Now get over her and rut up my black hole."

Doc Brown plunges both his mutant double donkey dong pipes deeps into his cosmic gaper with ease. The three of them form a metaphorical Tur-duck-en made of cocks. Doc

Brown stuffing The Doctor’s ass while he stuffs Marty with Marty screaming in pain while stoking cock using his tears like lube. The move violently inside each other in a locomotive rhythm similar to like Doc Brown’s super lame train time machine until they are all ready to burst. Doc Brown pulls his giant mutated goblin dicks from The Doctor’s ass and stands in from of the kneeling Marty, still being worked inside by The Doctor.

"It’s Howdy Doody time, Future Boy!"

Doc Brown presses the urethra’s of each one of his pulsing pair of horse cocks against each of Marty’s nostrils and explodes so much cum into his nasal passages it squirts out of Marty’s ears, mouth and tear ducts.

"GERONIMO!" the Doctor screams as he unleashes explodes with such force inside Marty’s ass with the fire of a thousand suns. The oncoming storm of his cum making Marty convulse in his stomach like he was vomiting bad Thai food. The TARDIS’s computer alarm goes off as the monitor reveals the Time Hole to be closing.

"It’s working!" Marty gurgled through a mouthful of cum. "We’ve almost done it," yells Doc Brown.

"Now all that is left is for you to gunk while filled with all our gunk!"
Marty’s hand, which second fading out of existence, was how back to normal and now being violently used destroy his own cock. Tucking his cock the fiery rhythm of Johnny B. Good.

He feels his balls tighten as they prepare to burst like in that way that balls tighten as they prepare to burst. Marty dick shit his man mud all over himself. A lightning storm begins throughout the TARDIS! Everything glows bright white as the Time Stream is healed and our time travelers dissapear.

An alarm clock changes from 10:47 to 10:48. The clock radio blares Huey Lewis’ “Back In Time” shocking young MARTY MCFLY from his sleep.

What a nightmare?

Was it a dream Marty wonders? But then he notices he’s clearly shit his bed sheets with a gallon of alien space cum.

"How could I have let them do those things to me?" Marty sobbed, crying into his pillow. A wave of shame filled Marty just in the way that all the cum had done.

Marty knew there was no way he could live after the sex acts he had been apart of aboard the TARDIS. So he wiped the tears from his eyes and started up the DeLorean for one more trip through time.

With the Flux Capacitor running, he set his destination.
9 months before he was born.
He arrives at the home of his parents.
George and Lorraine McFly fucking. Fucking the fuck that made him.

He bursts into the bedroom from seemingly out of nowhere and pulls George’s plump pud pumper out of his Lorraine’s sloppy semen steamer and puts his father’s ready to blow cock deep in his mouth.

Swallowing the load that would have created him and erasing himself from time, once and for all. 

Tags: doctor who marty mcfly back to the future doc brown nerdist nerdmelt
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~ Tuesday, October 29 ~
Had something called a “Frito Pie” like I aineven did was even respect myself.

Had something called a “Frito Pie” like I aineven did was even respect myself.

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~ Tuesday, September 3 ~
Permalink Tags: podcast nickercast shane nickerson brandamonium brandon vaughn shit my pants i'm an idiot other hashtags brunch
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~ Friday, July 26 ~
The horniest cupcake in the world.

The horniest cupcake in the world.

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~ Thursday, July 4 ~


Tags: usa
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~ Wednesday, July 3 ~
Permalink Tags: Twitter is stupid but I appreciate it
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~ Wednesday, June 19 ~

Check me out spittin’ dumbz on podcast.

Episode 34: Highlander w/ Brandon Vaughn

This week we welcome to the classroom the very funny Brandon Vaughn to discuss one of his favorite films: Hghlander. Professors Dave and Julia talk about decapitation, devine orgasms, swords, terrible sequels, Scottish Egyptians, Queen, and evil Mr. Krabs. Prepare yourself, there can only be one Friday Night Film School!

Hosted and Created by Julia Prescott & Dave Child

Original Music by Paul-El 

Follow us on twitter and facebook.

Direct download of episode here. 

Subscribe on ITunes here. 

Follow Brandon Vaughn on Twitter HERE

Supplemental Material:

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reblogged via fridaynightfilmschool

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~ Sunday, May 5 ~


~ Thursday, April 11 ~

Episode 010 with Brandon Vaughn, “Beauty and the Screech”


image Brandon and I watch the one where Kelly is failing science, so Screech offers to tutor her, and within two days the whole school thinks they’re a couple; Zack & Slater team up to separate them, of course.

(Subscribe on iTunes)

Most fun I’ve ever had in all ever. 

Tags: go bayside go bayside podcast april richardson apey slater zack screech bayside saved by the bell
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reblogged via gobayside
~ Tuesday, April 9 ~

Top Five Condiments Ranked In Order Of Horniness

5. Curry Ketchup

4. Sun-dried Tomato Aioli

3. Pesto Sauce

2. Wasabi

1. Chipotle Mayo

Tags: lists horniness condiments
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~ Monday, April 8 ~
Totally forgot John Cena was in “Twin Peaks”

Totally forgot John Cena was in “Twin Peaks”

~ Wednesday, April 3 ~
Spirit Animal.

Spirit Animal.

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